A picnic we’ll never have (again)

We used to spend our weekdays planning our next weekend picnic.

Where will we go this time?
The beach?
Bring all the cold drink and have a simple bbq?
The park?
So we can imagine we roll on the grass?
Though we’ll pretend looking up the sky and end up napping? From so much food.
The bench near the library?
Wait, you don’t like this one. Because we’ll just spend too much time at the library and borrow books I don’t read.
Mall picnic?
Movie, window shopping, and ice cream?
Or a living room picnic?
With dvds and PS games? And lots of junk food.

Are we going to buy the food on our way?
Or prepare it together?
Or buy it at the picnic spot?
Or just repeats delivery if we’re just going to be at home.

Sometimes those picnics happened as we plan.
Sometimes we lost the mood and ended the picnic sooner and changed to something else as we see fit.
Sometimes we didn’t even start the plan and just went back to bed for a longer sleep.

Whatever it was.
Picnic has always been you.
And when you died.
I stop having one.

But today, I decided to have one.
Not really the kind of picnic we had.
Because I didn’t have you to plan it with me.
Just packed a lunch box for me.
Brought a book, a tab, a coloring book and pencils, crochet hooks and some yarn balls.
Picked random park following my mood at that time.
And sat there watched some vids from youtube on the tab.
Ate the food.
Read few pages. Colored few shapes. Crocheted for awhile.
Then went home when the clouds looked heavy.

I did it!
A picnic!
The kind we’ll never have again.

Anyway, this was the lunch box I packed for today;

seaweed rice balls with egg roll.
fish and chips.

Do you picnic in heaven, Re?
You should try that.
And take my mom, will you?