Wonder Why

I used to wonder

Why my mother;

Never ask what I want to be when I grow up?

Never tell me to study and be something and someone

And even when I did good with school she doesn’t make it as it is important
I used to wonder

Why my mother

Never tell me I’m beautiful

Never ask me to take care of my face or my body or my hair

Never tell me to watch what I eat

Never teach me how to dress or doll myself
I used to wonder

Why my mother

Never ask if I have a boyfriend

Never tell what kind of boy I should bring home
She never tell

She never ask

And I used to wonder why
So, instead I keep on asking 

And I keep on telling her

Things wandering in my head

Things growing in my heart

And leave me with another things to think

Because usually she responds with more what, why, who, where, when and how for me to answer
She never tell

She never ask

And I used to wonder 
Until many years later

After so much love and hate things going on

After more miles between

And our conversation limit to phones, texts, vacations and holidays

And awhile before she died;

Only then I have the answer to my wonder why

When she answered, 

“I want you to be your first love.

And for that I know I have to eliminate dreams, every expectations I have for you;

Everything I want to tell or ask. 

And learn how to just be there and pray in silence for you.”

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About Diera

I read to dream. I write to heal. I eat ice cream to taste a little heaven. I love rain for bringing me my heavenly soulmate. And for everything else, I have sweet ice tea.
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